I have been disoriented for so long
At this point, it's a statement
I hate the road, never wanted to explore the world
Yet there is no other way to provoke a certain feeling
I’m homeless for real, nothing for me to lose
I want to get lost completely, no excuses
Highest level of freedom. I'm flying
Wild, raw, honest. A heartbreak at its finest
Borders are everywhere when
Home is a forbidden place
When native land means soil
Soaked in blood, tears and fear
In horrors, I walk there barefoot
"Be quiet, no screams, hide your emotions"
My ancestors ran for a reason
Some fought for a reason; they died
I’m not stupid, I’m not going back
“Re-education camps” are 5 hours away from Almaty
I repeat this line over and over
I try to survive and digest it, find a place in daily life
I look normal again, the panic has gone
Then – doing an ordinary random task
While washing dishes, for example
Everyone washes dishes, right?
Anyway, I'm taking the second plate
Soapy water — suddenly words in my head:
“Right at this moment people are tortured”
The clocks are ticking, then boom!
A never-ending reminder can make a person mad
Why does nothing change when it comes to Uyghurs?
The whole world just nicely observes
In other words, I hate you, yes, you
What are you staring at exactly, creep?
Been such a good runner when I run from fear
In fact, the fastest girl. Nobody from nowhere
Some games can not be won by design
In a way, realizing that calmed me
Appointed meetings with all scary ghosts
"Hello, nice to meet ya." "How do you do?"
I wish we started with goodbye instead
What's the meaning of the game, though?
Acceptance is both a curse and a blessing
Breathe in and out. It will be easier one day
Journey to Nowhere was created during fellowship organized by Babalar Press, a Qazaq experimental research, writing and publishing initiative. All parts will be printed in their zine in 2025.